Seenpoint 2002 JP-Mix|
I, on behalf of the Jurassic Pack staff, am proud to present you one of the greatest articles in Amiga history: the Seenpoint 2002 feature in a JP flavored style. You could call it the official unofficial issue #12 of Seenpoint. The table of contents is short, but hey, this ain't a DISC special. Quality counts, not interactive data bases where you can click your way through the most repulsive of Amiga scene information there is (Quote DISC 12: Personal Identities > Facet > Favourite Graphician > Troete > More Info on Troete > Unknown scener active in 1992 > Most famous release > Troete-NakedGirl with green dragon - 32colors.iff > Groups > Knife Crew > Unkown Estonian group > Most famous release > Fork).
NO! We got quality for you! YES! Actually it is so much of quality that you even cannot crunch this article and squeeze out the least of a bit (you know, a bit of a byte not a bit of a "little bit"!?)! HAHA! Not a single useless sentences in here! No no! None! Ha ha! Ok. Let's start that SPJPRMX02 thing.
1.In Focus: Fishwave!
Today we focus on Fishwave, brilliant article writer of Seenpoint fame. For years he has not released a single issue of his mag, how comes? "Well, it appears that Seenpoint is dead!" Fishwave teaches.
But how comes you stay at the very top of Amiga demo scene article writers (short ADSAW)? "Well you know, everytime a new mag comes out on Amiga the main-ed's get in contact with me and ask me for some articles. Since I know that they are in desperate need of article, yeah they actually would take any shit as long as I sign it with my well sounding name (to enrich their supports list), I can hold up my unbelievable fame by practically doing nothing that jumping once on my keyboard".
We asked him for examples? "Well, take the Seenpoint 2002 JP-Mix article in Jurassic Pack: I found this shit in between some xxx jpegs on my harddrives 48 hours before the deadline, added some minor jokes and gave it to the staff. Zito the asslicking wannabe main-ed told me it is so ingenious. Whaaa... lamer. But I pardon him". Hard facts.
2.Ephidrena: No usage of Protracker for raytracing!
Rumours say that Ephidrena never ever used Protracker to render their many objects used in their productions. "I noticed it when I myself tried to put together a 3d rabbit with Protracker 3.11" Scoop/Rumours told us and continued: "I used some really high quality samples and my tracking certianly is not the worst either. At first I wondered if Ephidrena had poke fun on us when they informed us they were using Protracker for 3d gfx on #amy-coders on IRC. But as Loonies & Mawi confirmed they were doing it too, we somehow got suspicious."
So how did he find out about this scandal? "When we where at The Party we faced LoadError and sneaked at his place looking through the drawers of his Amiga. And guess what: there was no Protracker installed! Means: either he ripped his 3d objects or payed some guys for it!" Ephidrena being rippers? That are tough news for the scene!
Scoop/Rumours: "It's their own fault! We wouldn't have revealed their lame behaviour if they had given us some instructions how to use PT for 3d gfx.".
3.Charts: When do they stop making sense?
We all know that charts are a decisive pillar of the Amiga scene. They motivate sceners to get their mindwork released. They show our girlfriends that know how to get a proper job in a super start up company someday, so we can buy them cars, clothes and jewels. But there have been two truly negative effects on charts in recent times:
a) The number of Polish voters and chart entries: We all know the Poland vs. Europe debates. Most voters are from Poland and vote mostly for Polish sceners, so we have the most Polish chart entries too.
b) The number of voters in total numbers is decreasing gradually! Does it make sense that twelve people decide who is the most popular whatever? Did you know why the Eurochart was delayed for so long? And why Depth gave it over to Iris for 100%? It's because there are more members in Iris, so the number of voters will at least always reach the number of 10 + X!
c) The solution: For future issues Iris just need to get at least one voter from each European country. His vote is being multiplied by the amount of citizens of that particular country. So the German voter got a factor of 80, the French one 60, the Polish one 40, Scandinavian countries something around 5 each. This way we get back our strong Official Eurochart!
4.Scoopex give rise to criticism!
We all know the satanic image of Scoopex. Scoopex welcome their homepage visitors with skulls, chains etc. Obviously people think Scoopex members drink blood of virgins (well, if pussy eating counts in here too, this might be a proven fact) and kill Christians. Especially since the spectacular German "Satanists"-trial, where two Satanists killed their prey with 66 stabs, the public runs an enormous anti-satanists wave.
We spoke to Antibyte: "Yes it is true that our image is not very fitting. I ordered TMB and Noogman to get something with flowers and birds and nice bright, pink colors!". So the evil Scoopexians become handsome & polite young men? Yes", Antibyte confirms and adds, "that's also why we will rename the group into Scoopinx"!
5.eMails that do not work!
Our special service for you: Here is a list of emails that does not work anymore. So if you want to contact one of the following sceners, get a different adress.
6.Ok, I cannot hide it anymore, you are right. This ain't a Seenpoint article! This ain't even JP-stylish! You've caught me redhanded. But I thought I could use Magic's Cocktail articles and use them to get even more famous. However none would believe me that this great stuff was typed in by me, little Fishwave. So now you know that this actually is the official unofficial Cocktail in a JP style remix 2002 without Magic's permission release. In case you want more mail: email@example.com.